“It Hasn’t Healed me in One Year”, Irrfan Khan’s Wife

Veteran actor Irrfan Khan died on April 29 last year and Bollywood is paying tribute to the actor with the trend #OneYearOfMissingIrrfan while his wife grabbed the chance to share her soul out with fans of the late actor.

The actor, who became a crossover star in Hollywood, died at the age of 53 after fighting bravely with cancer last year.

On his first death anniversary, Sutapa, wife of Irrfan Khan, shared some heart-wrenching insides of life without her husband.

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“They tell me that time heals, but it hasn’t healed me in one year”, she began expressing her misery.

While explaining how she coped up with the loss, Sutapa maintained that she had been up and down and tended to get normal but suddenly it all came back to her like it just happened just yesterday.

“Everybody tells me that time heals. So I also wait… okay, time is going by, and time will heal. And then suddenly, you know, you get hit so strongly that you just tend to kind of get flustered… then you know it hasn’t healed. So that’s how it is”, she added.

While explaining about getting back to work, Irrfan’s wife shared that she was not able to get back to work, and getting into another zone seemed difficult.

“I have got two-three people asking me, ‘will you now start writing, are you okay? Are you ready?’ But nahi ho raha hai”, she wept.

“But sometimes, you know, it just hits me – the helplessness. As if I am lying down and then somebody has really punched me in the lower abdomen. That pain is like a punch. And it’s the whole feeling of helplessness, extreme helplessness which makes you feel very insignificant”.

Sutapa shared her experience of coping up with loneliness in life and said she and Irrfan were always that two-people unit and now it is becoming very difficult for her to figure out a life without him.

“How long can I stay in this state of, you know, just writing things about him, thinking about him and talking about him… There will be a time when I will go ahead, I guess, but abhi tak toh nahi hua”.

Sutapa further expressed that she doesn’t prefer crying in front of people and probably that is the reason it is all bottled inside her.

“I think it still holds that connection and it’s very strange, you know, I do get hints of him being around”, she added.

Sutapa, while sharing about the last days she spent with the veteran actor, maintained that they were never really prepared for ‘it’ to come.

“Two months before he passed away, we were thinking of planning a holiday. In spite of every doctor, everybody telling me this is going to happen sometime or the other”.

Irrfan was looking into a script to act or direct in his last days before demise and the couple was enjoying time together.

On the other hand, Irrfan’s son Babil remembered his late father on his death anniversary and tweeted a heartwarming note.

“Nobody can ever replace him.”#IrrfanKhan’s son, #Babil remembers his late father with an emotional note. pic.twitter.com/DO8GLpgr5s

— Filmfare (@filmfare) April 29, 2021

“To the greatest best friend, companion, brother, father, I ever had and ever will have”, Babil penned down.